Advice, if you ask me for advice, and I give it, and you take it, you are a fucking idiot.
*YOU* are *the* expert on the ground at the sharp end where the rubber meets the road in *your* life, and *you* will be the one bearing all the future consequences of your decisions.
Having said that, if you come to me for advice, and you treat what I say correctly, which is just another opinion, another perspective, another sounding board, eg tools that might perhaps allow you to sift and sort the data you have, then maybe it has some worth.
So please don’t ask me for advice, I don’t want the responsibility… if you want my opinion, fine, ask away..
I was asked what I would do if I had US$ 250,000 in the bank, my answer was I’d take 90% of it out and either buy some LAND, not property / buildings but land, or stockpile shit that does not go off but that I can sell piecemeal, like reels of armoured electrical wire, EP140 lube, etc
But, that is just my opinion, and it is an easy one to give, I got no skin in that game, not in the US, don’t hold any bucks, certainly don’t have quarter of a mill in the bank, etc etc.
So, anyway, moving on… had an email from J
Amongst other things, he says he senses a lot of pain in what I write, can’t argue with that, and shades of the old biker limping down the road as he walks to buy some smokes or milk or whatever, he got no time for the bullshit from the new bikers and born again bikers who haven’t fallen off and hurt themselves and who think they are 2 wheeled ninjas immune and invulnerable and basically too fucking good and cool to fuck up.
Pain ain’t a bad, thing, it is life’s way of telling you that you are not as smart and competent and aware of your surroundings as you thought you were…
J says “You are not saying you don’t have those normal feelings like anyone else, you are only saying that to treat blue pill feelings like they connect to reality will hurt you more in the long run than looking at women for how they really are.” Bingo.
See, I’m only human, I cannot stop myself having these feelings, so I have to learn that I cannot trust these feelings, it’s the same with an alky or a junkie, or even anyone who ever gave up or tried and failed to give up smoking.
Within an hour your own brain is literally lying to you, sneaking all sorts of reasons into your thought processes about how and why just one single smoke right now isn’t not giving up, it is actually going to help you giving up, cos look at you now bro, your head ain’t working properly and you’re obsessing about smokes, best to have just the one now and get rid of the craving, hell, cutting down is a step in the right direction, you don’t *have* to go cold turkey to give up, etc etc.
Now you have civil war inside your own head and body, one aspect of your personality in a battle for supremacy with another aspect of it.
Civil war inside your head is not good.
Of course, it was fostered by your whole approach to the task being bullshit.
You got basically 2 options.
1/ Go cold turkey, stop dead, this is appropriate only if your intention is to give up for life, and you don’t actually enjoy smoking, you are just addicted.
2/ Cut back, it is still unhealthy, but if you cut consumption by 80% then it is only doing 20% of the damage to your health that it was, and this is appropriate if you actually enjoy the odd smoke, but know you smoke too much.
Choosing the wrong approach for the wrong ends is certain failure.
If you enjoy the odd smoke, then a nicotine patch is still feeding the nicotine craving and keeping it alive, while denying you the pleasure of the odd smoke.
If you are going to limit yourself to a certain level, then you can say OK, 4 small cigars a day, or 10 roll ups a day, no more tailor mades with all the chemical additives, or only Virginia tobacco, or whatever, the point is you get selective…. the guy who limits himself to 4 small snifters of cognac a day might still be an alcoholic, but he won’t have a drinking problem per se (drink driving notwithstanding)
That is what a lot of this blog is about, I like to stick my dick in cunt, I like fucking, I like kinky dirty sex.
I can no more avoid wimminz than a smoker can avoid walking past a tobacconist or other people with tobacco in their pockets or smoke in their hands.
It is a strategy, not a target or a goal.
A strategy makes it harder for your own brain to lie to you and deceive you, if you are goal oriented and you give in and have just that one smoke two days in after trying to quit your head says there you go that was a waste of time, here you are back at square one, and boy did you enjoy that smoke anyway (which is true) and life suck at the moment, so maybe you should have tried to quit next week and not this, hey, that sounds like a plan…
A strategy says ok, you had a smoke, and you enjoyed it, and you also managed to cut down, and smoke only when you enjoyed it rather than automatically, good man, keep it up.
A goal will see you throwing all your smokes in the bin, then suffering, then saying fuckit and dashing off to the 24 hour shop at midnight for more smokes.
A strategy will see you putting the smokes and lighter in one inconvenient place, say on top of a kitchen cabinet, if you want a smoke you must go there, replace the smokes where they came from in top of the cabinet, and stand there and enjoy the smoke.
The goal attempts to deny the blue pill in you, the strategy accepts it is there and it is going to stay there, but, smoking now has to be a conscious decision to get up and walk to the kitchen and reach up and stand there, not an automatic unthinking response.
In life, strategies teach you lessons and modify your behaviour over time, goals do not.
Answer me this, wimminz behaviour, the hamster wheel, rationalisations, all the aspects of AWALT behaviour, does it fit the goal oriented model or the strategy oriented model?
The blue pill shit we as men were all brought up with, grow up to be an x and get married and have kids and a house and so on, is that something you obtain via strategy over time or just a lot of goals.
Buying 5 x $1 lottery tickets every day is goal oriented. You want the fucking prize.
Putting 5 x $1 in a jar every day, because your strategy is you cut your smoking down so you save 5 bucks a day, and then at the end of the week treating yourself to a new video game or a steak dinner or saving it for a month to buy a PC component or something else, you try to walk towards the fucking prize, doesn’t matter if the target moves, as long as you face towards it and keep walking you are hunting.
Sailing, as in wind power ONLY, and trying to get from A to B, it is a great teacher, but you have to be able to take the required time out from life to be able to learn those lessons, not everyone can take a month off to sail only 500 miles cos that’s how wind and tide and weather worked out.
But nobody needs time off to play in their own head, it is there 24/7, so use it.
As J says ” Like: Is it is too much to ask to have a woman love and appreciate you in a human way? ”
And the answer is of course yes, but it shouldn’t be, and everything you were ever taught about this subject by society is a fucking lie.
If you work on goals you are doomed either way, you become just another wimminz or niggerz, but if you are strategy oriented then it is a question that never gets old, because every time you ask it you observe some other detail that you had not previously noted, either in the present or in some buried memories.
J says “Often when I am reading what you write, it seems to resurrect past dealings I have had with women, and push unpleasant occasions directly into the forefront of my mind. Spooky. Only now am I old enough I guess to be able to handle the fucked up thing my girlfriend or sister or mother said or did all those years ago, and really accept what it means about all the others too”
and that’s the secret, to gain that ability, first you have to survive that shit, to live long enough to gain enough experience etc.. if you are goal oriented you’ll just keep making the same mistakes, over and over and over.
Strategy.. well, strategy will make you laugh your ass off, because it means you weren’t the first fucker to live long enough to work this shit out and gain the experience and equanimity, and there is a long line of men going back into history and prehistory, and they worked this shit out too, and their attitudes were the same, fuck you if I should stay silent to save you from being offended, and fuck you if you think I’m taking any responsibility for it.
I am prepared to bet my left testicle there was an ancient Greek equivalent to “What do you mean, WE, asshole, you got a mouse in your pocket or something”
Sadly what we do not have today is an equivalent to the ancient Roman saying, “In Ceasar’s day, you’d have been chained to an oar.”